Sitting in a Pile of Rubble

I am not always in the mood to write or blog…blogging basically went to the wayside when things finally came to a head. 

I was approached recently by someone, whom mentioned I should be journaling through this process, so that I could blog about it and maybe help another in my situation. 

This really stuck in my mind, and today as I listened in church about being a mentor to others, I just thought wow! 

Could simple little me encourage someone else fighting this same battle??!?

In the present, I am learning what true loneliness feels like, especially when the kids are away! I believe in order to heal and become whole again we must face the fear of being alone. Believe me, it is hard to do…

What seemed to be a perfectly normal life was ripped away from me and my family. I truly believe when you are closest to God, Satan shows his ugly head and becomes determined to ruin you! 

That my friends he did! I am still sitting in a pile of rubble wondering what just happened??

To be completely honest, he won for a little while I let his thoughts enter my brain…and truth be told I fight those thoughts daily. 

And in the last 8 months or so I have been broken. But of course we are all broken. That’s how we are used by God.

But, there is life after divorce I haven’t met it all yet. But step by step my bff (GOD) and I are living it side by side. 

Some days it seems completely unbearable and others it’s refreshing! Learning to live a different life doesn’t happen over night…it’s a long process. 

Grieving they say it’s like losing your spouse to death, now I know nothing about that to compare it too. So with saying that their is a grieving process of losing your love, family, and life to divorce how it compares I hope I never have to blog about that one!

Maybe just maybe I share too much information on my life but if I can let someone see inside of me to the real me. They might notice behind this smile is a tinge of heartache, behind these eyes is fear. 

But if one thing I know is true God is in the business of fixing the broken and making something beautiful! 

And sometimes just sometimes that process can take awhile because he is preparing you for your future. Don’t lose heart or hope! Reach out to the one who can fix all the brokenness! He is there just waiting to hold your hand. 

In the words of Elsa “Let it go” and  from the words of the bible give it God he will hold your hand through all life’s storms! 

I am proof….2 years of heartache and grief and then the ugly D word! I am still standing only by the Grace of God! 

P.s  I have had many faithful and wise advice from many friends, family, and very special mentors and I am thankful for every prayer and every call or text. And a shoulder to cry on daily at times!