8 things I learned from my divorce

Divorce….wow what an ugly word! One word none of us anticipate when we get married, but unfortunately it happens to some of us. Not the way we planned our life, but sometimes we can’t plan everything. In going through a divorce last year I have and am still learning some valuable lessons. 

If I was to be standing where I stood this time last year you wouldn’t recognize me. Stress mixed with ongoing health problems I dropped a whole whooping 60 lbs! But not only is my outward appearance different my internal being is different. 

With that being said here are a few things I learned from my divorce….

1) Your world is turned upside down and it takes a quick minute to find your feet. It’s a rollercoaster that never stops even after the papers are signed. I used to think I could get off the rollercoaster, but you can’t you can only hang on and do what you think is best. 

2) eventually when you find your feet, you will find other things. Strength, independence, pride in yourself, you will learn to love the person you are, and you will slowly figure out life again. It’s not easy to self reflect, you will see the ugly side of yourself and realize what things that you personally need to work on to be in a healthy relationship some day. This does not come over night! You can’t rush it! Taking the time to rediscover you, is the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids if you have them. 

3) kids…that brings me to my next point. Not in a million years would I want this for my kids. But….it happened so what do we do as parents we reassure them constantly and love them like crazy. Never speak badly about the other parent and show them how to exemplify kindness at all times. They actually are tougher than we give them credit for. And remember no matter how hard we try we can’t fix the broken heart they feel, but we can love them to no end. 

4) at some point another significant other will be introduced to the kids. This step can be hard, but as long as that other is good to your kids and loves them we should feel blessed. If nothing else my kids have 2 new people to shower them with love. Now that my friends is a blessing in disguise. 

5)once you find yourself, God will place someone in your life when he thinks you are ready. He has with me. I found love and happiness again a new sense of adventure within me. I have learned trusting another can be tough but well worth it. This is coming from a woman who decided she would never trust or love again. In fact I had convinced myself love wasn’t real. And here I am telling you sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together…I know so cliche

6) divorce doesn’t define you. It’s not who you are its what happened to you. You can chose to let it define you or chose to learn from it. Never feel ashamed of what life has thrown at you, everyone has something they go through. Divorce is just a stepping stone along your path of life. Your life is far from over. Some say it’s just beginning! 

7) stop taking life so serious, that d word is going to be around especially if you have kids. You have an ex who you won’t always see eye to eye on everything with, but you do your best and keep truckin! Life isn’t going to stop and you shouldn’t either! I know I did stop, life didn’t I had to get back up and determine what I was made of. 

8) and last but not least I am in no way encouraging divorce. I just want to encourage those who may be facing it. Don’t give up until you have tried everything! With that being said both sides have to be willing to give it their all! You alone can’t fix or repair a marriage. Pray and pray and pray! Don’t give up until you just can’t take it anymore. Don’t sacrifice  who you are to save something the other person isn’t willing to try to save. In the long run you will turn out happier! Like I said in no way am I encouraging divorce bc truth be told I hate that word, but sometimes it happens so you have hang on and get trough it.

Life isn’t done throwing punches at you! You will climb many more mountains but the strong woman or man you have become will only help in all of lives rough times. Take the time to learn from your mistakes and roadblocks I promise you in the end you will look back and see you made it and you are OK!!!!